We see the person who turns up to work. We rarely see everything they had to navigate to get there.
Your colleague joins the 9am meeting on time. They're prepared, they contribute, they get on with their day.
What you don't see is that they barely slept. They're worried about a family member. They're dealing with financial pressures. Or perhaps they're simply emotionally exhausted.
We all arrive at work carrying something. Some things are temporary. Others are ongoing. Many are completely invisible.
And our personal circumstances aren't the only things shaping our experience.
Our identities, past experiences, relationships and the way work is organised all influence how comfortable, confident and supported we feel.
Someone might appear disengaged during a meeting because they haven't had an opportunity to prepare. Someone might hesitate to speak because previous experiences have taught them that challenging others comes at a cost.
It's easy to interpret behaviour without understanding the context.
But here's the thing: we don't need to know someone's personal story to treat them with consideration.
Inclusion doesn't require us to become experts in everyone else's life. It requires curiosity, respect and a willingness to recognise that our experience isn't necessarily everyone else's.
This matters for performance too.
When we make assumptions about people's motivation, commitment or capability without considering their circumstances, we risk overlooking what's really getting in the way.
Three things to try
Replace judgement with curiosity. Before deciding someone is disengaged or difficult, consider what you might not know.
Ask, don't assume. Give colleagues opportunities to share what would help them work effectively, without pressuring them to disclose personal information.
Look at the working conditions. Sometimes the challenge isn't the individual. It's the way information, meetings, expectations or responsibilities are organised.
Creating a more inclusive workplace doesn't mean lowering expectations or treating everyone identically.
It means recognising that people start from different places and making thoughtful choices about how we work together.
A thought to take away: You don't need to know someone's story to make room for it.
Light,
Vanessa ⭐️
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Thank you for reading! Check the next article if you want more tips to better yourself and your mindset 👇.
