How Much of Yourself Do You Bring to Work Every Day?
What does it really take for someone to perform at their best at work?
By Vanessa Belleau
We talk a lot about skills, motivation, accountability and productivity.
Yet, there is another question leaders and managers need to ask:
How much of your authentic self do you feel able to bring to work every day?
Imagine two people in the same organisation.
One says 70%. Another says 40%.
At first glance, we might assume the person saying 70% is having the better experience. Yet that is not necessarily true.
Another question matters more: are you happy with that percentage?
The person saying 40% might say:
‘I am quite private. I don't feel like I am hiding anything that affects my ability to do my job.’
The person saying 70% might say:
‘I wish I could bring 80%. There are parts of myself I hold back because I don't know how people will respond.’
And just like that, suddenly, the numbers mean something completely different.
The real question is not how much of yourself you bring to work.
It is: do you feel able to bring enough of yourself to contribute, participate and perform at your best?
What does bringing your authentic self actually mean?
Bringing your authentic self to work does not mean sharing everything about yourself. I am not a fan or supporter of the idea that we should be able to bring our whole selves to work!
Bringing your authentic self to work means feeling able to show up without unnecessarily disguising, suppressing or changing parts of who you are in order to feel accepted, respected or safe.
It means being able to contribute your ideas, perspective, expertise, personality, lived experience and opinions without constantly calculating how they might affect the way others perceive you.
For some people, that calculation relates to protected characteristics such as race, ethnicity, sex, disability, age, religion or belief, sexual orientation, gender reassignment, pregnancy or maternity.
But, identity goes beyond protected characteristics. Class, accent, socio-economic background, nationality, caring responsibilities, neurodiversity, education and family structure can all affect someone's experience of belonging at work.
It can show up in very small moments. Many ask themselves:
Should I change how I speak?
Can I challenge this decision?
Will my accent affect how credible I sound?
Can I ask for an adjustment due to my chronic illness, neurodivergence or else?
Should I mention my same-sex partner?
Can I admit that I don't know?
Will speaking up make me seem difficult?
When someone is constantly managing questions like these, some of their energy is being spent managing the environment rather than doing their best work. And this is where lies the issue.
Belonging is not the same as fitting in
People can be present without feeling that they belong.
You can have a diverse workforce and still have a culture where everyone feels pressure to behave, communicate and lead in the same way.
> Fitting in asks: ‘what do I need to change about myself to succeed here?’
>> When belonging asks: ‘can I contribute here without unnecessarily becoming someone else?’
That difference matters.
Inclusive workplaces should not create one narrow idea of what ‘professional’, ‘credible’ or ‘leadership material’ looks and sounds like. They should create the conditions for different people to contribute positively and effectively.
Authentic self does not mean whole self
I already mentioned this but this point deserves its own paragraph.
Because this distinction is very important.
I often hear organisations encourage people to ‘bring your whole self to work’. I don't think that should be the goal.
Nobody owes their employer their whole identity.
Everyone is entitled to privacy.
There may be parts of someone's life, beliefs, relationships or experiences that they simply do not want to share.
That does not make them less authentic.
‘Bring your whole self’ can also create pressure to disclose, when they are not ready to or when the workplace environment is not safe to do so.
Inclusion should not mean replacing ‘pressure to hide’ with ‘pressure to share’.
And authenticity does not mean saying or doing whatever you want.
We still need boundaries, judgement, respect and emotional intelligence.
The goal is not bringing your whole self. It is feeling able to be who you need to be in the workplace so that you can do your best work and achieve your ambitions, without feeling pressured to be someone completely different.
What does this have to do with performance?
Well, a great deal because performing at your best is not just about completing tasks.
It means thinking, questioning, contributing, challenging, collaborating, asking for help, making decisions and sharing different perspectives.
Those behaviours require trust.
If someone is sitting in a meeting thinking:
‘Should I say this?’
‘Will they think I am difficult?’
‘Am I being too much?’
‘Will this damage how people see me?’
then some of their cognitive and emotional capacity is being used to manage risk rather than contribute.
This is why inclusion and performance cannot be separated.
Inclusive high performance is about creating the conditions in which more people can access more of their capability.
It is not about lowering expectations.
It is about removing unnecessary barriers that prevent talented people from contributing at their best.
And yes, this is a management issue
Managers shape people's experience of work every day, through:
Who they listen to
Who they interrupt
Who gets opportunities
Whose mistakes are forgiven
Whose ideas are taken seriously
Who receives useful feedback
Who is considered ‘leadership material’
And what happens when someone disagrees
A manager does not have to explicitly tell somebody to hide part of themselves.
People learn from the signals around them: they notice who succeeds, they notice what gets rewarded and they adapt.
That is why managers cannot simply ask: ‘Do people feel included?’
They also need to ask: ‘What are people having to change, hide or minimise in order to succeed here?’
Start with better questions
For employees:
How much of my authentic self do I bring to work?
Am I happy with that percentage?
What do I currently edit, minimise or hide - and why?
What would help me contribute more freely?
What would bringing 5% more of myself allow me to do differently?
For managers:
Who speaks freely in my team - and who doesn't?
Whose ideas are quickly accepted?
Who has to work harder to establish credibility?
What behaviours do we reward?
Can people genuinely disagree with me?
Do people need to become more like me, or more like the dominant culture, to succeed here?
And most importantly: have I actually asked them?
Because somebody saying ‘70%’ tells you very little until you understand what the missing 30% represents.
Final thought
The number isn't the target. Choice is.
Somebody may feel completely comfortable bringing 40% of themselves to work.
Someone else may feel constrained at 80%.
>> We cannot decide the right percentage for another person.
What matters is whether people have enough choice, trust and belonging to show up in a way that allows them to do their best work.
So there is one question every leader could take back to their team: How much of your authentic self do you feel able to bring to work - and are you happy with that?
Then listen carefully.
The answer may tell you far more about your culture than you expect.
Light,
Vanessa ⭐️
————————————
While I have you here, sign up to my brand new bi-monthly newsletter ‘Unfiltering’ for some more of these spicy insights: https://lnkd.in/emSXWUP2. This is a bi-monthly newsletter that gives you positive psychology, leadership & workplace culture insights, creativity, mindset reframes and more.
And in case you are wondering, ‘unfiltering’ is the process of letting go of the filters we put on ourselves to fit in. It is a space for honest reflection, creative expression and coaching insight - without the ‘shoulds’.
Thank you for reading! Check the next article if you want more tips to better yourself and your mindset 👇.
