Compassion doesn't mean avoiding conflict. And being inclusive doesn't mean agreeing with everyone.
Let's imagine a familiar situation.
You receive an email from a colleague. It's short, direct and feels dismissive.
You immediately think, "Well, that was rude."
You become frustrated. Perhaps you respond defensively. Or perhaps you say nothing and allow the resentment to build.
But what if there was another way?
When we're under pressure, we can become quick to interpret other people's behaviour through our own emotions, expectations and experiences.
We assume we know what someone meant.
And sometimes we get it wrong.
At the same time, we shouldn't use good intentions as an excuse for hurtful behaviour.
So how do we balance compassion with accountability?
Three steps for navigating difficult interactions
1. Pause before reacting.
Notice your immediate interpretation.
What actually happened? What are you assuming? What don't you know?
2. Get curious.
If the situation is unclear, ask for clarification.
"I wasn't sure how to interpret your message. Could we talk through what you meant?"
Curiosity isn't about making excuses. It's about gathering information before drawing conclusions.
3. Address the impact.
If someone's behaviour has been disrespectful or hurtful, it's appropriate to name it.
"When you interrupted me during the meeting, I found it difficult to finish my point. I'd appreciate the opportunity to contribute without being interrupted."
Notice what's happening here.
You're being clear without attacking the person.
You're addressing a behaviour rather than making a judgement about their character.
And you're communicating what needs to change.
Of course, not every situation is suitable for an informal conversation. Serious concerns about bullying, harassment or discrimination may need to be addressed through formal organisational processes.
But in everyday working relationships, developing the ability to have respectful, honest conversations can prevent small misunderstandings from becoming bigger problems.
Strong teams don't necessarily avoid disagreement.
They learn to navigate it constructively.
A thought to take away: You can show people compassion while still being clear about your boundaries, expectations and the impact of their behaviour.
Light,
Vanessa ⭐️
————————————
While I have you here, sign up to my brand new bi-monthly newsletter ‘Unfiltering’ for some more of these spicy insights: https://lnkd.in/emSXWUP2. This is a newsletter that gives you positive psychology, leadership & workplace culture insights, creativity, mindset reframes and more.
And in case you are wondering, ‘unfiltering’ is the process of letting go of the filters we put on ourselves to fit in. It is a space for honest reflection, creative expression and coaching insight - without the ‘shoulds’.
Thank you for reading! Check the next article if you want more tips to better yourself and your mindset 👇.
