Thriving, surviving, suffering: the one question to reset your workday
By Vanessa Belleau
One of the most powerful questions I ask clients right now is this (if you have been in a session with me - you know that it is powerful):
Do you feel you are thriving, surviving or suffering in your job?
An important question! Why?
Well, it might sound simple but when people pause to answer this question, something shifts. Most of us are so caught up in the day-to-day pressure that we rarely stop to notice where we are on this spectrum. Yet naming it - thriving, surviving or suffering - gives you the gift of awareness. Instead of running on autopilot, let’s stop, breathe and connect with how we truly feel.
Because that self-awareness is the first step to unlocking better choices for your wellbeing and for your performance. This matters because your state of mind shows up in your results.
Thriving looks different to surviving. Surviving feels very different to suffering. And each requires a different kind of support.
Because that self-awareness is the first step to unlocking better choices for your wellbeing and for your performance. This matters because your state of mind shows up in your results. Thriving looks different to surviving. Surviving feels very different to suffering. And each requires a different kind of support.
Below are things that you can do to check in with yourself, depending on where you are today - no stress, just mindful actions:
▪️ If you are thriving: build momentum
Thriving means you feel energised, creative and motivated. Your performance is high yet, know that thriving is not about pushing harder, it is about sustaining it.
Tools to keep your edge:
Gratitude : write down one win and one person you are grateful for at the end of each day. Why? It will keep your energy high and reminds you what is fuelling your success.
Stretch & share: channel your good energy into mentoring someone else or trialling a bold new idea. Thriving isn’t just about you, it’s about lifting and enabling others to get to thrive.
▪️ If you are surviving: stabilise yourself
Surviving often feels like you are just getting through. You are functioning yet performance can become inconsistent if you stay here too long. The aim is to regulate and rebalance.
Tools to steady your performance:
Box breathing: a yoga teacher taught me that. It works! Try this > inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat 3 or 4 times. This will calm your nervous system and helps you refocus before the next meeting or decision.
Pause to prioritise: at the start of the day, list your top 3 priorities. Circle the one that matters most - think Eisenhower matrix: important vs urgent. This will protect your energy from being scattered.
▪️ If you are suffering: find relief & reclaim energy
Suffering is when pressure has tipped into pain - burnout, overwhelm, paralysis or feeling stuck. Performance here is unsustainable. The goal is to release, recover and ask for support.
Tools to start easing the pressure:
5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 Reset: notice 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. This will ground you when emotions run high.
Reach out ritual: share honestly with one trusted colleague, mentor or coach how you are really doing. Know that suffering thrives in silence - connection creates relief and help you gain a different perspective.
Final thoughts
Wherever you find yourself - thriving, surviving or suffering - remember: the act of checking in is already progress.
You don’t have to stay stuck in one place. With awareness and small, intentional practices, you can shift your state and your performance.
Sometimes the boldest leadership move isn’t powering through. It’s pausing, breathing and choosing what you need next.
While I have you here, sign up to my brand new bi-monthly newsletter ‘Unfiltering’ for some more of these spicy insights: https://lnkd.in/emSXWUP2. This is a bi-monthly newsletter that gives you positive psychology, leadership & workplace culture insights, creativity, mindset reframes and more.
And in case you are wondering, ‘unfiltering’ is the process of letting go of the filters we put on ourselves to fit in. It is a space for honest reflection, creative expression and coaching insight - without the ‘shoulds’.
Thank you for reading! Check the next article if you want more tips to better yourself and your mindset 👇.
